Comments on: The starting gun

By: Marie

Marie — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 16:18:11 +0000

[quote]how do we let our kids know it is time to live for themselves so that when 10 years have gone by they don’t have any regrets? I don’t really care about what society at large thinks they should have accomplished, I want my kids to be able to look forward at what they want, and back on what they’ve had and done, and not be left wanting.[/quote]
Live that way right now. Talk about savings plans and what they’re for. Be open about family budgets and spending. Talk about plans—for tomorrow, for next week, for next year, what might be good to be doing in five years—and how to make them happen, or how to weigh this plan against that and make a choice (or do both?), what steps to take and how much time to estimate for accomplishing this or that goal (from learning to snap fingers or whistle to putting on a Thankgiving dinner to becoming a graphic designer or film editor).

Starting gun started with the birth day, I think.

I’m also thinking: When is it time to let your child know it’s time to start dressing himself? Or is that something that a parent even has to do? Maybe it’s something that a child just starts doing—some earlier, some later. Some might benefit from a suggestion like, “Hey, you can do this for yourself, if you like. Here’s how the buttons work, if you care to try it. [and later] Here are some community college courses that might interest you, if you’re serious about that filmography idea. And here’s how you can find out about more such classes for yourself.”

I dunno. I might see it differently in a few years, but just now I’m thinking that, rather than looking for a certain signal that now it is the time to introduce the idea of independent living, it’s more like a natural progression from day one.

By: Andy Morris

Andy Morris — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 21:26:47 +0000

Hi Patrick

Thanks for the post! The program is called the ‘Growing Minds’ program and the method is a combination of interactive and directional approaces – a bit like ABA with warmth, play and fun! There is a link to their website from Rosie’s site which is http://www.chanceforrosie.org.uk.

All the best to you, Andy :)

By: Tito Rajarshi Mukhopadhyay

Tito Rajarshi Mukhopadhyay — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 14:46:12 +0000

I am planning in a long term way
Till the moment of my last living day….
‘I would continue to live at home,
Even when I am living my 60th birthday.’
I discussed the plan (till here) with mother,
She assured me that ‘Its okay.’
.......
This is not what I yet discussed
But it islaid out thus till thus-
Then as parting hours draw near
And I would draw my last living year…
I might go to a broad minded world,
Who don’t mind applying Euthanasia I am told.
I would smile a smiling death,
And thank the doctor for my last end breath.

– Tito Rajarshi Mukhopadhyay

By: Patrick

Patrick — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 20:26:47 +0000

My apologies if my response was one of those considered cynical Andy.

A google search does indeed return many hits for the Girls and the Calendar stunt.

Would you mind letting us kow what special education programme in USA you have selected? (As reported on http://www.stroudnewsandjourna....._rosie.php ?)

By: original cali biomed xprt

original cali biomed xprt — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 19:54:58 +0000

Just a side-note to Brett. The starting gun for me fired very near the HS you write of, however it was a little earlier than when you attended … ; ]

By: Brett

Brett — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 18:32:54 +0000

Thanks to everyone for your comments so far (and please, keep them coming). After reading the comments, I had to go back and read my original post to make sure of what I had said. It seems that most people interpreted my reference to the “starting gun” as “going out and living on your own.” While that may be one option for some, it’s not really what I meant.

I agree with Ms. Clark in her assessment of children living at home. In fact, I’m already looking at adding on an apartment (a “mother-in-law space”, if you like) so that may son(s) can continue to live with us.

I was really thinking more along the lines of the true spirit of the song: how do we let our kids know it is time to live for themselves so that when 10 years have gone by they don’t have any regrets? I don’t really care about what society at large thinks they should have accomplished, I want my kids to be able to look forward at what they want, and back on what they’ve had and done, and not be left wanting.

Life “beyond childhood” encompasses so much more than just living on your own.

By: original cali biomed xprt

original cali biomed xprt — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 06:50:32 +0000

Thanks for that link Ian.

By: Ms. Clark

Ms. Clark — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 01:57:55 +0000

This is a fear of those of us with “middle functioning” children, too.

The thing to do is to advocate for people to see autistics as humans NOW, otherwise when you are gone the average Joe will see your daughter as a monster, and monsters don’t have feelings. It doesn’t matter what you do to them, and it doesn’t matter if they die.

Acceptance is your best chance of giving your child the best chance. The demonization of autism might destroy MY kid after I’m gone if it doesn’t stop, and I’m not going to sit still for it now.

By: Ian MacGregor

Ian MacGregor — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 22:20:14 +0000

For those of us with low-functioning children,the question is really concerns what happens to them once we can no longer take care of them. We have no idea of how muh progress they will make, but fear it won’t be enough to avoid being institutionalized, somethng that they might not mind at all. It is not the insitutionalization that we fear, but abuse of our children in these institutions.

By: Another Autism Mom

Another Autism Mom — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 21:43:57 +0000

I meant “live with me”, sorry.