Acceptance

9 Apr

I accept that people are different.

I accept that different doesn’t greater or less. Just different.

I accept that all people need support in life.

I accept that some people need more support in life than others.

I accept that some people need a lot more support in life than others.

I accept that people who need a lot of support are different. Not less.

I accept that people have inalienable rights.

I accept that a person who needs a lot of support should not be denied their right to life.

I accept that a person who needs a lot of support should not be denied their right to liberty.

I accept that a person who needs a lot of support should not be denied their right to pursue happiness.

I accept that even though these rights are inalienable, they have historically been denied to people with disabilities. And that this is wrong.

I accept that even though these rights are inalienable, they were hard fought. For everyone. And the fight continues, especially for people with disabilities.

I accept that all people deserve respect.

I accept that people with disabilities are often denied basic levels of respect. And this is wrong.

I accept that people with disabilities grow and develop. Accepting disability doesn’t mean accepting stasis.

I accept that happiness is defined by the individual.

I accept that one can be disabled and happy.

I accept that lack of disability doesn’t guarantee happiness.

I accept that my role as a parent is to help my child achieve happiness as best as we can. On my child’s terms.

I accept that my role is not changed due to my child’s disability.

I accept that my responsibility as a parent does not over ride my child’s rights.

I accept that people with disabilities can seek to eliminate their disability. If that is their wish.

I accept that society often fails to accept people with disabilities, and this lack of acceptance can coerce people with disabilities to seek cures.

I accept that nothing is as defining of “self” as much as how one thinks.

I accept that autism at its root involves how a person thinks and perceives the world.

I accept that autism involves both disability and identity to a greater level than many disabilities.

I accept that achieving happiness is more difficult for people with disabilities than for those without.

I accept that my child has a right to privacy.

I accept that protecting my child’s privacy is a greater responsibility due to disability. That I can not use my child’s disability as an excuse to circumvent privacy.

I accept that my role is to identify my child’s advocacy and be the voice that amplifies my child’s advocacy.

I accept that no one achieves everything they advocate for.

I accept that even though it is easy to say “father knows best”, when it comes to their happiness, my child knows best.

I accept that not all parents or autistics accept what I do.

I accept that my own beliefs have evolved over time and will continue to do so.

I accept that I am far from perfect and that I will sometimes fail to keep to all the principles I have accepted.

By Matt Carey

This is a partial list and is subject to additions and revisions.

3 Responses to “Acceptance”

  1. Chris April 10, 2019 at 05:43 #

    Beautiful.

  2. Lus N Ärûam April 13, 2019 at 23:35 #

    This should be printed on page one of every developmental disabilities textbook handed to university student, and inked on every “special ed” teachers’ contract, and presented with a warm smile to every shell-shocked parent at every diagnostic appointment, and displayed prominently in big, bold type on the wall in every IEP/IFSP meeting on the planet — starting now and forever henceforth.

    Sincerely. It’s that powerful.

    Thank you.

    • Sullivan (Matt Carey) April 16, 2019 at 20:03 #

      that is amazingly kind of you to say.

      I was motivated by years of conversations online where people tell me what acceptance means to me, and get it wrong.

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