I accept that people are different.
I accept that different doesn’t greater or less. Just different.
I accept that all people need support in life.
I accept that some people need more support in life than others.
I accept that some people need a lot more support in life than others.
I accept that people who need a lot of support are different. Not less.
I accept that people have inalienable rights.
I accept that a person who needs a lot of support should not be denied their right to life.
I accept that a person who needs a lot of support should not be denied their right to liberty.
I accept that a person who needs a lot of support should not be denied their right to pursue happiness.
I accept that even though these rights are inalienable, they have historically been denied to people with disabilities. And that this is wrong.
I accept that even though these rights are inalienable, they were hard fought. For everyone. And the fight continues, especially for people with disabilities.
I accept that all people deserve respect.
I accept that people with disabilities are often denied basic levels of respect. And this is wrong.
I accept that people with disabilities grow and develop. Accepting disability doesn’t mean accepting stasis.
I accept that happiness is defined by the individual.
I accept that one can be disabled and happy.
I accept that lack of disability doesn’t guarantee happiness.
I accept that my role as a parent is to help my child achieve happiness as best as we can. On my child’s terms.
I accept that my role is not changed due to my child’s disability.
I accept that my responsibility as a parent does not over ride my child’s rights.
I accept that people with disabilities can seek to eliminate their disability. If that is their wish.
I accept that society often fails to accept people with disabilities, and this lack of acceptance can coerce people with disabilities to seek cures.
I accept that nothing is as defining of “self” as much as how one thinks.
I accept that autism at its root involves how a person thinks and perceives the world.
I accept that autism involves both disability and identity to a greater level than many disabilities.
I accept that achieving happiness is more difficult for people with disabilities than for those without.
I accept that my child has a right to privacy.
I accept that protecting my child’s privacy is a greater responsibility due to disability. That I can not use my child’s disability as an excuse to circumvent privacy.
I accept that my role is to identify my child’s advocacy and be the voice that amplifies my child’s advocacy.
I accept that no one achieves everything they advocate for.
I accept that even though it is easy to say “father knows best”, when it comes to their happiness, my child knows best.
I accept that not all parents or autistics accept what I do.
I accept that my own beliefs have evolved over time and will continue to do so.
I accept that I am far from perfect and that I will sometimes fail to keep to all the principles I have accepted.
—
By Matt Carey
This is a partial list and is subject to additions and revisions.
Beautiful.
This should be printed on page one of every developmental disabilities textbook handed to university student, and inked on every “special ed” teachers’ contract, and presented with a warm smile to every shell-shocked parent at every diagnostic appointment, and displayed prominently in big, bold type on the wall in every IEP/IFSP meeting on the planet — starting now and forever henceforth.
Sincerely. It’s that powerful.
Thank you.
that is amazingly kind of you to say.
I was motivated by years of conversations online where people tell me what acceptance means to me, and get it wrong.