There’s the ghost of a girl I’ll never be
Before I go, let go of the ghost
Just let her disappear
And then maybe you’ll see me
While I’m still here
I’m still here
The musical Kimberly Akimbo has been nominated for multiple Tony Awards. The show is about a 15 year old girl who has a rapid aging disease (it’s a fictitious condition.) She’s not autistic, but a message in one of her songs reminded me of what I’ve heard a lot of autistics say they feel.
Kimberly asks her parents to acknowledge that she wasn’t the daughter they wanted. That their house is haunted by the ghost of the girl that they did want. Kimberly asks her parents to see her as she is.
Here are the full lyrics. Patti and Buddy are Kim’s parents. All three of them are quoting earlier songs of theirs in the last verses here.
[KIM]
I was never the daughter you wanted
That’s the thing we never say
But that’s the truth and that’s okay
We live in a house that’s haunted
There’s always you, there’s always me
And there’s the ghost of a girl I’ll never beThere’s the ghost of a girl I’ll never be
Before I go, let go of the ghost
Just let her disappear
And then maybe you’ll see me
While I’m still here
I’m still hereI was never the girl you intended
She was young and she was bold
She’d hold your hand when you got old
Let’s admit, the dream has ended
And what you wished for wasn’t me
It was the ghost of a girl I’ll never beShe’s the ghost of a girl I’ll never be
Before I go, let’s give up the ghost
Just he with me instead
I know I might be dying
But I’m not dead
I’m not deadSo before I go, take my hand
Before I fly away, say goodbye
I will go somewhere that’s beautiful
I’ll go somewhere that’s beautiful
It’s time let me go[PATTI]
Father Time[KIM]
Let me go[PATTI]
Slow down the day[KIM]
Let me fly away[PATTI & (BUDDY)]
Don’t let the dark come in (You have your whole live)
Steal it away[KIM]
It’s time[PATTI & (BUDDY)]
For goodness sake (Your whole life)
You’re still awake[BUDDY]
See the world
See the world
See the world[PATTI]
And baby wants to play
And baby wants to play[KIM]
Oh
Dear Make a Wish Foundation of New Jersey
As you probably know by now
My name is Kimberly Levaco
Thank you for the treehouse
But I don’t need a treehouse
I’m gonna bungee jump
I’m gonna jet ski
I’m gonna hang glide and clog dance
And swim at the bottom of a waterfall
In New ZealandI’ll see the world
See the world
See the world
Smiley face
Left Brain Right Brain 
Actually, the condition isn’t fictitious, it’s very real. Progeria is the more severe form, Werner’s syndrome being a form that begins in adolescence.
Mean survival age for progeria is 14.5 years, 46 years for Werner’s.
From what I’ve read the condition is similar to but not progeria.
So Intended Kimberly
is
* young
* bold
* holding her parents’ hands when they get old [probably her single mother’s hand – I had not read about Buddy – and when I made that projection I thought of Kimberly living quite a way into the future – 10 or 15 years – past her teenage and early 20s anyway]
And that “I know I am DYING but not DEAD”.
When Patti and Buddy sing:
“For heaven’s sake / You’re still awake!”
Who is the baby in the musical?
[another of Patti’s ghosts?]
And I like the idea that they are quoting/reprising previous songs of theirs in this one.
It’s a quick way to show a motif – a history – some experiences they might have had.
All the great physical dreams that Kimberly Akimbo has – some version of a bucket list. And all the travelling adventures that you – and I – might have dreamed of when you were 16.