Non, je ne regrette rien

Right. This is it. Absolutely the last time this subject gets raised on this blog. Comments will not be enabled on this post.

It’s the last time because I’m sick to death of hearing about it, thinking about it and discussing it. If anybody else wants to carry on discussing it – be my guest. But you won’t do it here.

First and foremost is that you understand that I regret absolutely nothing. I retract absolutely nothing. I apologise for none of my words and actions. I meant every single one of them and stand by them.

It was made clear to me by Larry that I wasn’t welcome in what he thinks of as neurodiversity. That’s fine, I can live with that. What he failed to specify, other than insults and vague allegations was _why_ I, and a loose group of people referred to as ‘the parents’ weren’t welcome. We sought no leadership. We sought no setting of the agenda. We just wanted to do our bit.

I asked calmly and politely – at first – what it was we – I – had done specifically. No answer, but more snideness. Eventually I realised that nothing of any substance would come from Larry. I retreated after speaking my mind about what I thought about Larry. It wasn’t good but it was accurate. It was my opinion.

After a week, I came back to my blog and explained my thoughts on the whole matter. Things were calming down. I avoided Larry. I didn’t seek out his comments, thoughts or opinions. Then yesterday I come back to my blog on a thread that is indeed heated but respectful and what do I find? Three long comments from – you guessed it – Larry. More of the same insults, murky accusations and pompous posturing. I let him have both barrels. He deserved it.

So – bullying. One ‘Donna’ who’d been on this blog many times and doesn’t like me or what I have to say accuses me of bullying poor poor Larry. Let me remind people who was ‘chasing’ who. I want to have no interaction with Larry if I can possibly avoid it. He sought it out and left three long, whiny, disrespectful comments. I’m not easily provoked but that did it. If anyone wants to avoid bullying I’d suggest to them that chasing after the ‘bully’ bleating ‘please notice me’ is not a great idea. I’d also like to offer a tip to would-be bullies: it seems that you don’t have to do any chasing these days. Apparently people coming in to your turf and running their mouths off, making empty accusations and calling you names is OK but if you respond in kind, they can cry about what a nasty bully you are.

As I said in my previous post – I’ve been used as Larry’s punch bag already. Not any more. If Larry – or anyone else – comes to my blog looking for a fight then they _will_ get one.

Humour. Its a personal thing. Some people don’t like other peoples humour. That I can understand. But suggesting that someone elses sense of what’s funny is inherently wrong because they don’t share it? Forget it.

First I’m told what I can and can’t blog about. Now I’m told what I can and can’t laugh about. What’s next? Anyone want to let me know where my black shirt is? Double plus ungood.

I really am beginning to wonder if the whole idea of _some_ autistic people wanting allies is true. We had a chance to start something great here. As far as I’m personally concerned, that’s dead in the water. Do you want perfect parents? We might not be perfect but we’re better than CAN parents. You had a chance to work with us. Make us better. Instead you’ve driven this one away for no better reason than one suspicious man couldn’t reign in his ego.

At least 20 people have emailed me to tell me that Larry has been like this since forever. They think he is jealous of the fact that I and other parents have been interviewed. He confirms this by stating that autistic people should be interviewed, not parents. He’s right, they should.

In early April this year I was contacted by a journalist from The Observer in the UK. She wanted to speak to someone connected with the autism advocacy movement. I told her she’s be best speaking to autistic people in the UK. I told her I would mail her details to a few UK autistic people I knew so they could speak their piece. True advocacy, right from the horses mouth. One of those I contacted was Larry.

He never replied to me and he never contacted the journalist. I know this as she contacted me increasingly desperately as no one had contacted her. She didn’t want to hear my voice, she wanted to hear from autistic people about autism advocacy. Nobody, including Larry, could be bothered.

Remember this next time you hear Larry banging on about rights and agendas. He’s full of hot air.

And that is that.

From now on I blog about what I want to blog about. That will mostly be about autism related quackery. Larry is banned from commenting on this blog. Any comment that touches on Larry in any way or on any of these discussions will be deleted.

I don’t consider myself part of neurodiversity, although I am clearly neurodiverse. I will gladly stand with autistic allies – both autistic people, their parents and professionals – who want nothing to do with a cure and who want rights for autistic people to come first in autism advocacy. I will not stand with anyone at all who wants to accuse me of wrong doing without any substance to their claims or who wants to dictate what I should and shouldn’t talk about.