A fascinating news story from a week ago I just caught, it tells the side of the story that is often not captured.
Kate Dansereau, 34, of Fairhaven, who has an autistic twin sister, Julie, recalls her story of transcendence. She’s now an autism consultant for Community Autism Resources (CAR), based in Swansea.
“As I got older… and ‘fitting in’ became more important, it was extremely difficult. I was often embarrassed by her and concerned of my own image and what other people would think,” said Dansereau. “After high school there was a shift in my attitude and I became much more accepting of her differences, and felt the rest of the world should be too.”
So, being around an autistic person made this neurotypical person ‘more accepting of difference’. Is there anyone out there who thinks that’s a terrible thing? Because I’m of the opinion that thats an excellent thing. And something that may never have happened to Dansereau had she not had a close relationship to an autistic person. Would it be to much to sugges that possibly (hang tight now folks) this is a clear positive aspect to autism?
How about this?
“When I was about seven, I didn’t really like him [Taylor] very much because I felt like he was mean,” said 13-year-old Jace King, whose 20 -year-old brother, Taylor Cross, is autistic. “My mom explained to me that he was different and that he had some special talents, as well as some things that he wasn’t so great at, and that was because of his autism.”
“At first it didn’t really register, because I was young and didn’t really understand what autism was,” continued King. “As I grew older we had more in common and we liked each other more, and I was able to understand how it affected him and how it made him a better person.”
How it ‘made him a better person’ eh? I wonder if Mr King realises how many people would attack him for simply believing his brothers autism made him a better person?
How about _this_ :
It’s also become common knowledge that over time, as King and Bowers mentioned in their film, siblings tend to mature faster than children who do not have an autistic sibling. They tend to develop more compassionate qualities, and not to be as judgmental of other people.
“I’ve gained a sense of understanding and knowledge,” said King, “When I look at people, instead of asking myself, ‘what’s wrong with them?’ I ask myself, ‘how can I help them?'”
Snyder is also able to reflect on what she has gained from having a sibling on the autism spectrum.
“A lot of my compassionate tendencies really come from the fact that I’ve had my brother my whole life,” said Snyder. “Just from the fact that he’s different and it’s not his fault, and he needs to be accepted, and I try to spread that sentiment when I get the chance.”
So here we are with these siblings of autistic kids – siblings who used to not like their autistic siblings very much as kids – growing up, maturing and developing deeply compassionate qualities as well as losing the judgemental attitudes some people show. They also try to evangelise acceptance.
Seems like siblings of autistic kids turn out pretty damn well to me.
Left Brain Right Brain 
I think my children are more compassionate and understanding of differences than they might have been had they not had an autistic brother.
We have always talked about why he is as he is and does as he does (as best I know!) and they are developing more of an understanding of it all as they get older. I have talked to Duncan himself about autism many times too, though so far he says that everyone in the family is autistic.
I think that the opposite has been true in my family. My oldest is 14 and he has AS. Since the birth of his brother who is now 4, he has grown in leaps and bounds in terms of compassion and empathy. He has no trouble giving up even special interests to spend time with his brother when asked. He is also extremely protective of his little brother. Amazing what a little love can do…..
This has been my experience as well with four kids aged 6-11, two of whom are autistic — but in 2 different ways.
Differences in people and their abilities and having children exposed to them is, in my opinion, the key. My youngest aunt’s only child is severely challenged -mentally and physically. Not that same as autism, I know, but she is quite different. My children were around here from the time they were babies and as a result, are very accepting, empathetic too of people with differences. Now, with my younger daughter’s two little ones both being autistic, having been accustomed to my cousin, has made them better equipped, shall we say, to deal with the quirks of these two little ones. I think in many ways it has given my daughter and I a lot more insight into ways to help her children over all too. These two also have been around my cousin although not near as much as my children were since she is now in a nursing home but they have a relationship with her and are quite accepting too of her. It works both ways as my cousin especially loves little children and enjoys their company too. Acceptance is understanding the differences we ALL have regardless of each person’s abilities.
It’s good to hear things on the positive side of the equation every once in a while. Thanks for this posting Kev.
Merry Christmas to all who read here, even if your on the not so positive side of the argument.
I think Sharon’s sharing about Dunc thinking the whole family is just like him is Wonderful!!
I appreciate your response, Kev, but I am not about to email a complete stranger.
Sorry.
Goodbye.
Thats fair enough Lila, would you feel more comfortable talking to a woman?
I do not email strangers, no matter their gender. But thank you for thinking of me. I do appreciate it.
Kev,
I know you say this is not the place for minors, but I do need help, and as adults whose siblings have autism visit this site and share their experiences, it seems like it is a good place for me to ask for advice. However, if you still do not want me here, I will respect your wishes and not visit here again. It would certainly not be fair for me to post comments even when you have asked me politely not to. But, I ask that you consider my words one more time. I need help.