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Education data is the new black

26 Mar

Or, more accurately, Education data is the new CDDS.

Up until this year, David Kirby, Lenny Schafer, Rick Rollens et al said that CDDS data was the gold standard of autism data and because rates were rising during the 90’s according to CDDS data this proved that vaccines caused autism. Then they said this would be proved in 2005 – sorry, 2007 – when it was firmly established thiomersal was pretty much out of all vaccines in the US schedule excepting the voluntary flu jab. Kirby went so far as to say that if the CDDS rates didn’t fall by 2007 then this would be a significant blow to the thiomersal theory.

Guess what? No fall. In fact, there was a continued climb.

Next they all said – CDDS? That stuff is rubbish – California is ‘special’. No, no, no, what _really_ counts is educational data. In fact, just this morning, the latest Schafer Autism Report carried new data that showed how autism rates were still climbing.

But hang on….seeing as we _know_ that the amount of thiomersal in vaccines is essentially nil, and tests show that as early as 2002, over 80% of doctors surgeries reported they carried no thiomersal containing vaccines, how can we possibly carry on with the stupendously idiotic hypothesis that thiomersal in vaccines causes autism?

Feh. Never mind. Thiomersal is out of favour these days. These days its all about Aluminium or whatever other vaccine ingredient people want to wring their hands about.

Anyway, here’s a post I came across on EoH today:

I just found this newsletter from last fall- vaccine rates dropping funding short- sounds good to me. Too bad we are not counting AUtism rates like CA.

and it linked to this PDF which says:.

Alarmingly, our childhood vaccine rates have dropped from the highest in the nation to just below the national average. From 90% of two year olds fully immunized to less than 80%.

The inference is clear, right? If only we could count the number of autistic people in Maine up to and including 2006 I bet we’d see them dropping as the vaccine uptake in Maine dwindled. And hey – this should be an easy drop to find in the state that had the highest vaccine uptake in the nation, right? Oh, if _only_ someone had tracked the autism numbers in Maine!!!

Well, worry no more – the great guys at the Vaccine Autoimmune project have. (IE link only, poor web development ahoy!). Lets take a look shall we?

State 2000-2001 2005-2006 Percentage Increase
Maine 150 311 107

Huh??

Wait now…you mean to tell me that vaccine uptake _fell_ over 10% and yet autism _increased_????

Miraculous – whatever can it mean???

Harold L Doherty – at it again

26 Feb

Harold Doherty last week built himself an army of strawmen in order to demoinse the neurodiversity movement. I and many people left comments that were never published so I wrote the above linked post to demonstrate to Mr Doherty how illogical, ill-thought out and just plain old wrong his points were. He never responded but it seems Mr Doherty is never one to let a little thing like accuracy cloud his opinions.

Today I see a post entitled ‘Is The Neurodiversity Movement Ashamed of Lower Functioning Autistic Persons?’ to which the short answer is ‘uhhh, no – whatever gave you that idea?’

Luckily Mr Doherty proceeds to tell us what gave him that idea. Strawmen ++

It seems at times that the Neurodiversity Movement is ashamed of the lower functioning members of the autism world. Autism is defined by the ND movement as simply another natural variation of human wiring.

No it isn’t. That is one _aspect_ of what autism is.

“Autistic intelligence” is defined as a different, perhaps even a superior form of intelligence.

Might be. There seems to be good evidence for extraordinary mental skills in some autistic people.

Doubt is cast on whether lower functioning autistic persons even exist by the more strident ND’ers.

Really? Where? Who says that?

Even autistic persons who have demonstrated no communication skills, engage in seriously and repetitively self injurious and dangerous behavior should not be treated or cured in the view of the ND movement.

Ditto. At some point Mr Doherty you’re going to have to start _providing some sources_ – all this alarmist arm waving is mildly entertaining but ultimately just silly and self defeating.

Recently CNN’s Dr. Gupta featured the story of Amanda Baggs, diagnosed as being a low functioning autistic person, but clearly very intelligent and, with the aid of technology, an excellent communicator. The implied message – even low functioning autistic persons are really quite intelligent and do not need a cure or treatment.

Nothing at all was implied. It seemed quite clear to me. Amanda does not need a cure. I believe she has had some treatments of mixed efficacy at various points in her life. Your implication seems to be – and feel free to turn up and correct me if I’m wrong – that silly old Amanda can’t possibly know what’s good for her and she can have no empathy with other low functioning autistic people, whereas the Great Mr Doherty knows all. He knows for example that silly old Amanda doesn’t know what’s good for her.

Unfortunately Dr. Gupta played into this denial of the existence of truly low functioning autistic persons by continuing a long history of media focus on autistic savants and other high functioning autistic persons while ignoring the sometimes brutal realities which confront low functioning, seriously disabled, autistic persons.

Yeah, or maybe we could discard the conspiracy theory and conclude that this particular piece wasn’t about that aspect of autism?

My autistic son, Conor, is a low functioning autistic person who brings me great joy. I delight in talking about how happy he makes me every single day. But, unlike members of the Neurodiversity I am not ashamed to admit the severe challenges he faces in life and I am not afraid to talk about them publicly.

I wonder how Conor feels about that and whether Mr Doherty would care?

Anyway, the point is that no one I know is ashamed to admit the severe challenges autistic people face in life. In fact, that’s kind of the point. To highlight these kind of things. Here I’ll say it in the plain English that I reserve exclusively for people incapable of appreciating shades of grey:

Autistic people face severe challenges in life. I am not ashamed to admit this publicly. I am however, afraid to talk about them publicly because when I did, various people who wanted to cure their kids were vicious about her. So now I and my wife talk about her in a private closed access blog which is open to friends and family only.

Unless such public discussion takes place there will be no improvements for Conor and other autistic persons like him. Of course that is exactly why the Neurodiversity movement attempts to censor such discussion.

I love accusations of censorship that come from men like Mr Doherty who actively censor their own blogs and refuse to participate in debate. Its always good for a chuckle.

I _think_ Mr Doherty is alluding to the revulsion some of us have for Autism Speaks and their one sided propaganda piece ‘Autism Every day’. We don’t want to censor it Mr Doherty. We (all 748 – so far – of us) want to expand it to truly reflect the reality of ‘Autism Every day’. Not just the self pity bits. If you don’t want these parts included then I think you need to carefully look at how that holds up against your accusations of censorship.

Harold L Doherty builds a strawman army

18 Feb

I’ve been reading Mr Doherty for awhile now. He keeps a blog that discusses his views on autism advocacy and to his credit he stresses the importance of evidence based methods for helping his autistic son, Conor. This means he holds the vaccine/autism bull in as much disdain as I do.

However, this would seem to be the beginning and the end of his skeptical nature. He has, over recent weeks, been involved in a blog war with Michelle Dawson during which he claims (as far as I can see) that Ms Dawson is actively campaigning against ABA based therapies. Ms Dawson claims (with some justification) that what she is doing is suggesting that ABA is not the only methodology that helps. He makes occasional side references to this issue in the comments of blog posts such as this one in response to Kristina’s take on autism mythology:

Today, in place of Bettleheim, we have new forces ready to condemn parents of autistic children. Bettleim’s handiwork today is done by those who attack parents because they advocate for improved health and education of their autistic children and are accused of violating the human rights of all persons with autism by doing so. One hurtful urban myth gives way to another.

This was the first of Mr Doherty’s strawmen army that I noticed. I asked Mr Doherty to back up his position with a quote from someone actually doing that:

Could you provide an example of someone attacking parents of autistic people for advocating for improved health and education for the reason that these same people think that improved health and education violate human rights?

To which he answered:

If you want an example try this one, a comment attributed to Ms. Dawson in reference to parent advocates “they make me sick” is what she is quoted as having said

And he is correct, that’s indeed what she said. However, that wasn’t what I asked. I asked for a quote that showed someone attacking parents of autistic people for advocating for improved health and education for the reason that these same people think that improved health and education violate human rights, which Ms Dawson’s stated opinion clearly does not. Mr Doherty’s reply was:

I gave you a very obvious example. You simply refuse to accept the statement for what it is.

Which is just a new variation on the close minded doggerel.

Today I noted a new post from Mr Doherty. This post is simply one logical fallacy after another. He starts of by defining ‘Sirens’ for us as those who would seduce sailors to their deaths with sweet sounds.

Lets not forget that a siren is also that which makes a long, wailing, irritating noise.

Anyway. Lets address Mr Doherty’s first strawman:

Parents and families of children newly diagnosed with autism will face many daunting, at times overwhelming challenges. As the father of a soon to be 11 year old boy with classic Autism Disorder I have dealt with those realities for the 9 years since my son was diagnosed at age 2. One of the more seductive challenges that parents will face is the siren calls of those who oppose any effort to treat, educate or heaven forbid change an autistic child for the better. Do not listen to the sirens’ call.

This paragraph encapsulates the position of the rest of the post perfectly. It also reveals its weakness. It is simply a strawman argument. A regurgitation and expansion of his comment on Kristina’s blog. No one I know has ever opposed ‘any effort to treat, educate or change an autistic child for the better’. If Mr Doherty believes they have I would appreciate seeing supporting material or quotes. As has happened many times before, Mr Doherty is taking a very easy to understand proposition – that desiring a cure for autism is not analogous to respecting autistic people – and imbuing it with false exaggerations in order to demonise that position.

Here’s another example:

The sirens will outright mislead you and tell you that autism is not a disorder or a disability, that it is simply another variation in the human condition, neither good nor bad

Again, this is simply false. I personally tell people that autism is both a disability _and_ a difference. To pretend that being autistic cannot present one with disabling situations is ridiculous _so nobody I know presents it as a belief_. That includes Ms Dawson.

The sirens will not talk about such realities as lack of communication, self injurious behavior, or lack of awareness of potentially life threatening dangers posed by automobiles or broken glass. The sirens will not tell you that some autistic children are sent home from neighborhood schools sometimes in handcuffs or that they are sometimes housed in criminal detention centers for youths because no decent facilities exist in which autistic youths and adults with severe behavioral issues can reside. They will not talk to you about autistic adults residing in mental health hospitals.

Here we say Mr Doherty taking the ‘scattergun’ approach to logical fallacy. Just about every sentence in that scaremongering paragraph is fallacious. For example, its no secret that my daughter doesn’t speak. Ballastexitenz has a whole category regarding self-injurious behaviour. I have written more than once about the horrors that can happen when there is a lack of decent facilities for autistic youths and adults, as has Ballastexistenz, Mike Stanton, Kristina Chew and most of the online community Mr Doherty would think of as falling under the umbrella of ‘sirens’.

The attraction of the siren’s call is the attraction of sweet surrender. If a parent is told that their child’s autism is a beautiful thing, a joy to be embraced by the parent it will be easier to let go, to give up and to refrain from taking on the enormous challenge of doing the best that can be done for your child. It is not easy to raise, care for and educate many autistic children. It is absolutely one of the most rewarding tasks a parent can face but it is challenging, stressful and costly. It would be easy to give up and let go.

Here we have another old ‘ND’ logical fallacy – that accepting autism is the same as doing nothing. I can personally attest that this is laughably fallacious. What my wife and I spend most of our time on is raising, caring for and educating our children – including our autistic daughter. Mr Doherty’s implication that those of us who don’t believe in the things he does have have given up is a particularly cowardly and distasteful Ad Hominem fallacy.

Moving away from logical fallacies, Mr Doherty expresses what – to my mind – are gravely disturbing opinions regarding the nature of acceptance and moving on:

The sirens will tell you not to mourn for your autistic child, to accept your child’s autism; the will even tell you to find joy in your child’s autism. They will encourage you to accept your child as he or she is and not to seek to change your child.

Mr Doherty seems to be alluding to the essay ‘Don’t Mourn For Us‘ with this statement. If so it is an incorrect reference. Here’s what Jim Sinclair says about mourning:

Some amount of grief is natural as parents adjust to the fact that an event and a relationship they’ve been looking forward to isn’t going to materialize. But this grief over a fantasized normal child needs to be separated from the parents’ perceptions of the child they do have: the autistic child who needs the support of adult caretakers and who can form very meaningful relationships with those caretakers if given the opportunity

Mr Doherty’s exhortation to wallow in grief seems to me to be the opposite of sense and practicality. There have been times in my life I have mourned friends and family who have died. I don’t believe it is healthy to try and force a relationship that is motivated or fed on grief. The autistic child is _still alive_ . To behave as if it is dead is not, in my opinion, a good thing for parent or child.

I would indeed heartily recommend finding the joy in your child’s autism. It is there to be found if you look. My autistic child is a delight. Yesterday was her 7th birthday and we had a great time doing the things _she_ likes. We didn’t have a party. We didn’t make her unwrap her presents. We didn’t have lots of people around. It was just the five of us. We did it that way as that’s what _she_ feels comfortable with. It was truly a lovely day. I don’t understand why Mr Doherty would rather (if I understand him) I turned these sort of days into a funeral dirge.

I would also like to once again quote from one of my favourite peer reviewed papers entitled: _”A qualitative investigation of changes in the belief systems of families of children with autism or Down syndrome”_. In this paper the authors have investigated the lives of families who have autistic members or members with Down’s Syndrome:

Over time, parents may experience changes in ways of seeing their child, themselves and the world. These new perspectives may encompass profound rewards, enrichments, and the appreciation of the positive contributions made by people with disabilities

and

A wide range of positive changes or transformational outcomes have been reported by parents of children with disabilities, including: the development of personal qualities such as patience, love, compassion and tolerance (Summers et al 1989; Behr & Murphy 1993; Scorgie & Sobsey 2000; Kausar et al. 2003); improved relationships with family members and others (Stainton & Besser 1998; Scorgie & Sobsey 2000; Kausar et al 2003); stronger spiritual or religious beliefs (Yatchmenoffet al. 1998; Scorgie & Sobsey 2000; Poston & Turnbull 2004); an ability to focus on the present (Featherstone 1980); and a greater appreciation of the small and simple things in life (Abbott & Meredith 1986; Kausaret al. 2003). Studies therefore indicate that, with time and experience, parents of children with disabilities may come to regain a sense of control over their circumstances and a sense of meaning in life by seeing the positive contributions of their children with respect to personal growth and learning whatis important.

and

Our children have taught us the true worth of an individual. Our society tends to value persons based on performance, knowledge, education, the ability to earn income. And these children have taught us that there are so many more inherently important values, which have shaped us as a family.

and

Another thing that makes me feel that I am so much smarter than I used to be is that I have given up trying to fix my son. . . . All I have to do is figure out . . . what he wants and what will make him happy, and try to put a structure around it. . . . He’s fine the way he is, and it was for me to figure that out and, gee, the poor guy while I was figuring that out.

and

And it’s true that if you don’t change the way you think about this child, if you always think that you wanted to have a normal child and you are always comparing your child to a normal child, you’ll never really be accepting and you just don’t get anywhere.

I hope Mr Doherty can one day stop constructing strawmen to fight his battles and can start to appreciate the truths he ignores.

Update

Mr Doherty failed to publish many of the comments I know he received. That’s fine – his blog, his rules. He did however make another post on the subject which I’ll reproduce below:

When I posted yesterday about “Neurodiversity’s” attempts to downplay the existence of severely autistic persons I expected, and received, some heated comments although some were civil and on topic enough to post. But none of the comments that I received acknowledged a central reality that the Neurodiversity movement seems ashamed to admit – that there are many autistic persons in the world whoin fact are severely disabled, who are dangerous to themselves and who require 24/7 care and attendance to ensure their safety. I am still waiting for one of the Neurodiversity advocates to admit these truths – but I am not holding my breath while I wait.

The ugly truth is that many in the Neurodiversity movement seem ashamed to acknowledge the existence of severely autistic persons – like my son.

Here we see yet more Strawmen. Mr Doherty has shifted from specifics – as he was challenged on them and obviously had no response – back to generalities. He now states that the neurodiversity ‘movement’ fail to acknowledge a ‘central reality’ – that there are autistic people who:

a) are severely disabled
b) are dangerous to themselves
c) who require 24/7 care

He claims he is still waiting for one of the neurodiversity advocates to admit these truths, but (put on a lofty tone of voice) ‘I am not holding my breath while I wait’.

Several times in my blogging career I have mentioned my great uncle. He died some years ago. He was born before 1920 and I never met him. He was according to his sister-in-law, my grandmother, severely disabled and whilst he was not considered dangerous he was adjudged to need 24/7 care which he duly received. He was occasionally self-injurious and during those times he was, I suppose, a danger to himself.

As I say, this is not the first time I have mentioned my great uncle. If Mr Doherty spent as much time researching the stated facts regarding those he chooses to misrepresent as he does constructing logically weak arguments then we might do away with all this silliness.

Just Sayin’ Part IV

18 Nov

46th Skeptics’ Circle – On a mission from God

26 Oct

Its always the same. I volunteer to do something because its a worthy cause or I really like the thing in question – or both – and then I put it off and put it off and end up scrabbling about at the last minute to sort it out.

So, when I volunteered to host this Skeptics Circle three months in advance I knew that this time I wouldn’t need to put it off again and again as this time I had plenty of time to get organised.

Unfortunately, the bit of my brain that reassures me there’s plenty of time is broken and thats why with less than 30 minutes to go I’m scrabbling about getting the bloody thing organised. Getting a spectacular venue at such short notice is tricky. I do have a few contacts though. Which was good. Skeptics’ would be arriving in about 20minutes time demanding in their evidenced-based ways to be plushly seated and fed.

“Hi, Colnel Jack O’Neil please….look I know it exists….oh for…look, just tell him that Kev rang…yeah, I want to use the conference room for a meeting. What? Promoted? Well…OK…is Daniel Jackson there? Smart arse…not as funny as he thinks. No? Shit. OK…what? Teal’c? Big guy, funny looking. Big on hats. Oh forget it.”

Next try.

“Satan? No? Whoops, sorry Gabriel…wrong fast dial number…hahahaha!”

Try again. Press right key this time.

“Lord of Darkness? Heeeeyyy…how’s it going big guy? Yeah, aside from hot…..oh really? Well if it says a thousand years and you signed it I don’t see how you can moan about it feller. Hey, I’m just saying! Look, shut up a minute – you know that favour you owe me?…..Yes you bloody do!….no *you* look – if it wasn’t for me that Bryan Adams record would still be No.1….look, look, stop it….all I want is the big conference room….what? No the one on the Ninth Circle…..whaddya mean ‘booked’? By who? Oh yeah? Well, you tell Tom Cruise from me that….that….hello? Hello? Bugger!”

This was getting slightly annoying.

“Hey Doc! It’s Kev….Leitch. Kev leitch. Kevin Leitch. I was your assistant just before Billy Pip…uh, I mean Rose. Well, thanks! Nice to know I made an impression! How come you don’t remember me? I was the guy who broke the uppy-downy thing in the Tardis engine room. Yeah…ever get it fixed? Well, thats good…uh…listen, I know I kind of wrecked your only viable mode of transport but I was hoping for a favour…? Just one room for a few hours for me and a few pals….what? No no no, nothing like that….well maybe some beer….whaddya mean ‘how big’? It’s a bloody Tardis! Small outside, massive inside…..look, just for an hour and no beer…well thanks for nothing! I always preferred The Master anyway!”

Dammit.

“Hi…Is that The Others? It is? Cool. Can you just kill Charlie? Yeah, the guy from the Lord of the Rings. Yeah, thats it. Bye”

OK, so I get a little sidetracked sometimes. Back to it…and there was only one thing for it…

“Gabriel? Gabe! Hi! yeah, sorry about before….yeah I spoke to him….he’s fine – well, hot – y’know how it is…..no, no, I guess you don’t…erm…listen I need a favour. No from you, not the big guy. No, no, I’ve got nothing against him….yeah, the beard’s a bit much…look, look, listen – I need a conference room. No, no catering Gabe. I haven’t got the touch the big guy has – two loaves and a couple of fish don’t go very bloody far for me. I dunno….Burger King maybe. Oh for…yes, yes, there’s only one King…Jes- I mean, Chri- I mean for goodness sake, he’s really touchy for an all powerful being isn’t he? Ok, no bloody Burger King….I can? Nice one Gabe! Just a couple of hours. Eh?….for the Skeptics Circle…..hello? Hello? Gabe!? Damnation!”

Re-dial.

“Gabe? Don’t put the phone down! Whats wrong with the septic circle? Hmmm? No, no, *septic* circle. What? ‘Skeptic’? Ha! No way – those guys are losers. No, this is the Septic Circle. We discuss, uh, Septic tanks and the latest news regarding all things, er, septic…wounds…umm. Treatment? Oh, umm, laying on of hands mostly…..No – wait! Prayer, I mean! So – can I have the big conference room? Cheers Gabe you always were my favourite!”

Bloody hell. A skeptics circle in heaven. For a minute I thought the paradox might make my head implode or some such thing but then I remembered to just believe in the power of dreams or whatever and everything was fine.

Next problem – how do you get yourself and several skeptical people into Heaven?

Luckily, we have Google these days so I searched for it.

According to this guy what you needed was:

If you ask most people this question, they will say something like, “If you do more good things than bad things, God will probably let you into heaven.” The above thinking will reserve your place in hell. You need FAITH IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS.

Hell was no good – Tom Cruise had booked the only conference room big enough, the short-arse git. So all I needed was to persuade a bunch of Skeptics to have faith in the blood of Jesus. Should be pretty straightforward.

This was getting silly.

Then I remembered that ‘clapping’ song:

Three, six, nine, The goose drank wine, The monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line. The line broke, the monkey got choked And they all went to heaven in a little row boat.

Frankly, I was dubious. What the hell is a ‘street car line’? And ‘choking a monkey’ sounded suspiciously like something my Grandmother told me would make me go blind. I thought it best to stick to the blood of Jesus thing. A _little_ row boat would never hold *all* the skeptics anyway.

Decision made, I was calm and sanguine when the doorbell rang. I could see the shape of a phalanx of Skeptics through the net curtains and hear the sardonic patter of sarcasm as it echoed down the cul-de-sac I lived in. Game on.

“Welcome all,” I gushed, “come in, take a seat, just a few short words from me and we’ll be off to our scheduled meeting point.”

The phalanx trooped in – I spotted a few familiar faces (Diva, Skeptico, DoC and the sharpshooter eyes of Orac met mine for a minute) and a few people I didn’t know who offered a polite introduction as they came in…Dr Charles, Runolfr, Paul….skeptics’ so hardened and long serving that a permanent air of critical irony came off them like a deeply sarcastic mist.

“OK, everyone in? Good. So, a bit of a change of pace this time….I’ve arranged for us to meet in Heaven.”

Silence. And then Orac asked: “You want us to hold a Skeptics’ Circle in a place that – lets be honest – doesn’t exactly lend itself to critical thinking.”

I nodded. “And to get there, according to some guy on a website, all we need to do is all believe in the blood of Jesus.”

“Seriously?” Said a Skeptic near the back.

I nodded again. “Easy, right?”

Someone laughed nervously (and yet logically). Orac closed his eyes and rubbed his brow. “OK, what do we need to do?”

With a confidence I really didn’t feel, I explained that if each of us expressed our carefully examined and well researched opinion that there was such a thing as the blood of Jesus then we would all be instantly transported to the opulence of the conference room in Heaven I booked with Gabriel awhile before.

“Seriously?” Said all the Skeptics.

“Well, yeah….”

Orac muttered a fairly appalling word and then said, “Right, OK, lets give it a go.” He cleared his throat nervously. “All together…..”

It was one of the greatest moments of my life. Persuading a bunch of Skeptics’ to affirm their belief in the blood of Jesus in order to attend a conference in Heaven. Admittedly, they didn’t look very happy about it, but it worked. Skeptics’ in Heaven. Marvellous.

Once the assembled Skeptics’ had recovered from the shock of being in a place they didn’t believe existed (I explained that Chaos Theory would probably throw up a new type of science at some unspecified point in time called Paradox Theory in which events like this would be commonplace) we settled down to business.

Dr Charles stood up (after he’d finished poking the table with unbelieving pencil prods to establish it was really there) and told the assembled Skeptics’ about the evils of chain letters and how one chain letter in particular had affected his practice in terms of some of his patients feeling the chain letter in question was an excellent diagnostic tool for ovarian cancer. We were off to a good start.

Next, Lord Runolfr told the assembled ranks of Skeptics about how Reiki was not actually ‘spiritually guided life force energy’ at all – an announcement that caused a rumble of appreciation to echo around the room. As an encore, Lord Runolfr explained to everyone just how bad science was abused in Hollywood.

The brilliance of a thousand tiara’s announced the proclamations of Autism Diva. She explained to the assembled ranks that for some institutions, ‘distinguished’ seemed to be a relative term, including people who think Gaia is suffering and that’s why we have autism, or that autism is actually demonic possession.

“I actaully wouldn’t use the word ‘demon’ around here if I were you”, I muttered to Diva as she sat down but she simply threw a spare tiara at me.

Dad of Cameron rose and told the assembled skeptics that despite the assembled scientific might of RFK Jr, jouranlist David Kirby and various other liggers – the mercury-in-vaccines-causes-autism hypothesis was still dead as the rate of autism was still rising even after a few years of mercury-free vaccines.

As DoC sat back down, I remembered who was next up. I rose quickly.

“Um, next up is…uh….Hell’s Handmaiden….” I said, ducking in anticipation of a thunderbolt from our host…..nothing….cool.

The Maiden stood and expounded thoroughly on the formula used by the more credulous examples of creationists to be found littering the web. Was it me or was the sky of Heaven darkening outside?….oh dear….how embarrassing it would be if a bunch of creationist-rejecting skeptics were smitten by a thunderbolt from God.

Luckily, Dr David decided to inject a bit of class into proceedings and started to recite a bit of poetry called I.D. On the Stand. Hmmm….maybe Heaven really hadn’t been the best venue for a Skeptics Circle after all….I shifted uncomfortably as Dr David recited:

…Creationism in the schools had died a legal death…And now as Rothschild rose, Gishville IDers held their breath.

I struggled to recall exactly what God had done to non-believers in the Old Testament. I couldn’t remember but it probably involved boiling oil and pointy sticks and squidgy parts of peoples anatomies. Note to self: next time, if you _must_ do this in a religious setting, try Bhuddist Nirvana. They’re a lot less wrathful and vengeful.

I popped a couple of Rennie’s and munched fretfully as Stuart Coleman stood and asked the assembled skeptics if religion benefited society – and just to really get my stomach acid rising, Stuart went on to comment on the need to create ‘ghosts’ from random shapes.

My indigestion eased somewhat as Archy recounted his look at some incredibly lazy science reporting centered around yet another Atlantis theory. Damn you and your poor attempts at fiction Plato! But at least we were moving away from subject matter likely to cause annoyance in our all-knowing host.

Skeptico stood and pointed out the tired old repetitious fallacies that ID proponents wheel out at the vaguest hint of patterns in nature. Veering close to holy criticism I grant you, but Skeptico took pity on my nerves with lots of fascinating references to the SETI project. He then when on to make the Circle laugh by recounting the time a few days ago when we were all bathed in an ultraviolet pulse beam from higher dimensions. An event so earth-shaking that had Skeptico not told me about it, I don’t think I would ever had known it had happened. Certainly the ‘jump-start in manifesting the things we would like to cocreate in our own lives’ must’ve passed me by.

Next up, the guys from Humbug Online told everyone about some of the best Shonky stuff around including bio-available Oxygen and the Magnetic Laundry System, thus establishing that Aussie punters are just as credulous as Yanks and Poms.

Interverbal rose and clearly and concisely decimated the arguments of some ‘autism epidemic’ apologists by expanding on DoC’s earlier points to show that no matter how one attempted to twist the stats, the CDDS is never going to be a good source of data for autism prevalence.

Orac slapped the table to show his appreciation of Interverbal’s clinical smackdown and then went on to tell the assembled skeptics just exactly what the problem with Deepak Chopra was, coining the marvellous phrase ‘Choprawoo’ into the bargain.

Once the Skeptics had all finished giggling at the phrase ‘Choprawoo’ (personally I doubted I’d ever get tired of it), Seth from a Whiskey Before Breakfast staggered unsteadily to his feet and slurred his way through not one, but two pieces on why magical thinking was bad for people and how magical thinking did not equate to skeptical thinking.

And talking of magical thinking, EoR from The Second Sight told everybody that nothing – quite literally _nothing_ – worked like Homeopathy.

Martin from Salto Sobrius rose next and explained how puzzled he was when people said they weren’t religious but were spiritual and how it seemed to him that the word meant nothing and anything….verging on dangerous ground again – didn’t these skeptics know I had high blood pressure? Luckily my chelationist was waiting for me in his custom 15 door limo-cum-consulting rooms-cum-hyperbaric chamber after the Circle meet up was finished so I knew I’d be all right.

P cleared his throat and proceeded to remind the assembled skeptics about the Strawman fallacy and what a first class example of one he’d come across recently whilst attempting to debate a Christian. ‘Thanks, P’ I thought to myself as I popped another brace of Rennie’s.

Bronze Dog also decided to my indigestion by talking about the appeal to ridicule gambit and, much to my horror, directly addressed the idea of ‘God’ as doggerel…..a definite rumble of celestial thunder sounded outside the door and the room briefly shook. This was going pear shaped. Fast. I needed a safe pair of hands…

Tara stood and told the circle about The failure of alternative medicine – a subject I was profoundly interested in _and_ relieved to be talking about.

Tara indicated she’d finished.

I stood up. “That’s it – everyone’s presented. I’ll close by saying that

a) The Next Circle is at Polite Company on November 9th

b) By way of a party favour, I have this modest bit of fun for you all and

c) I have no idea how to get out of Heaven.”

46th Skeptics’ Circle – Last call

25 Oct

The Forty Sixth Skeptics Circle will be here in 24 hours time….last call for blog entries is 25th oct 10pm GMT.

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