This is the last post that I’ll be making concerning Megan directly.
It seems that there are a lot of people who don’t appreciate the fact that I write honestly and openly (within reason) about my daughter and some aspects of our life together. That takes on a variety of forms. From some people it manifests itself as invective against me or (incredibly) against Megan herself. This has become increasingly hard to bear.
For others it seems that this takes the form of seeing what I write as a personal attack on them. To a large extent thats their issue. I say nothing on here that I haven’t said in the appropriate places. However, its becoming increasingly apparent that what I talk about on here in respect to Megan could have serious repercussions for certain aspects of her life. I don’t want, either directly nor indirectly, to jeapordise these vital aspects of her development so I choose to remain silent on these issues where they affect Megan directly from this point on.
This blog first started as a personal account of Megan’s development. It was my personal wailing wall and we hoped it would be (in times to come) our scrapbook of the various things in Megan’s development we could look back on and relive.
I have recieved the greatest amount of feedback of any of the subjects I talk about on this site on issues regarding Megan. People want to know how she’s doing and for far flung relatives the blog served its primary function of an online diary. For friends and colleagues made online I know that discussing Megan’s issues provided a mechanism to express thoughts, fears, hopes and opinions regarding their own autistic children. By and large my posts on this subject were positive and people saw them in that light. I received on average 4 to 5 emails a day asking how Megan was doing with (for example) Melatonin or if her huge progress at school last year was being maintained. Sometimes people felt they ‘know’ Megan well enough to see aspects of their own kids mannerisms or behaviours and this encouraged them to talk about things either in the comments or via email that they might not have otherwise asked. A lot of my web developer colleagues have professed that they knew nothing about autism until they read about it on here and feel that through coming to know Megan – albeit in an abstract way – they have a greater understanding of the nature of autism.
To all these people – I’m sorry. It gave me as much pleasure to write about Megan and her progress as it did for you to read about it. Unfortunately, we live in a world where these things can be used as weapons against you and I can’t expose Megan’s developmental progress to such a risk.
Left Brain Right Brain 
Sorry to hear that Kev. As someone who has a relative who has recently been told her son is autistic, your blog has been a source of information, and indeed hope for me and other members of my family who I have talked to about your blog, about Megans progress and the fact that it isn’t the bleak outlook many believe or assume it to be.
Here wishing you, Megan and the rest of your family all the best.
Thank you for ‘sharing’ Megan with us up to this point. Its a shame you had to make this decision. Some people really suck!
I’m with Elisabeth and Stuart there…. thanks for this incredible journey you’ve shared with us all.
You said this: “From some people it manifests itself as invective against me or (incredibly) against Megan herself. This has become increasingly hard to bear.”
And I would be willing to bet my family jewels on the idea that the people being so hostile claim to “love” and “cherish” their autistic children; the hypocritical bastards. Such invective is indeed likely to be hard to bear, and I’m surprised you managed to last so long in the face of the likes of Lujene Clark and the others who were openly nasty to all of us who found this blog a great source of information and – indeed – Inspiration. You have been braver and more patient than I certainly would have been and, to tell you the truth, I have admired your insightful and mostly non-confrontational way of doing things. Sad to see things get to this point because of a bunch of people who can’t admit that they do not love their children as those children are… who have no concept whatsoever of unconditional love. I feel pity for them: they’ll get their’s when the children grow up (nothing nasty envisaged here, but I can’t see many being so happy about the unnecessary risks taken with their healths, and so on).
You also said: “It seems that there are a lot of people who don’t appreciate the fact that I write honestly and openly (within reason) about my daughter and some aspects of our life together.”
I would think that this dislike of your honesty comes largely from the lack of honesty that they have in regard to their own feelings about their children, so they project their aggression onto you… they don’t cope well with the idea that they could be so full of hate, so they externalise that hatred and see it as a central feature of your being, of Amanda’s being, of Michelle’s being, and of mine too. For the sake of very poorly integrated egos, they choose to attack other people’s senses of self. And this is such a poor way for humans to behave.
I leave here my best wishes for you and for your family, especially for Megan… and I leave you with the offer of anything I can think of that might be of help to you all, and you know where you can access this knowledge.
All the best, and thank you for this most excellent of debating and discussion places, and for the insight into your collective lives. May your strength bring you comfort as it has brought many of us who have read these writings inspiration.
Sorry to sound all sugary, but I do kinda feel that way.
Take care, man.
David
-looking forward to any other debates that occur in the autism half of this blog.
Blimey Kev,
It’s a real shame you’re having to do this. I have an extremely minute connection with autism and it’s only because of a project, but I am a Dad and I always appreciate and admire your honesty, your passion and your will when you write about Megan. It’s important (for us all) that you do blog it in some way, even if just RepAut.
Don’t stop talking about it mate, it’s real, it’s about your life and I can see it’s appreciated by many.
If you do stop, they (the narrow minded, brainwashed (I really want to swear now) minority) will have won.
All the best,
Graham.
Kev,
It would be awful not to be able to “pop in” and see how you and the family are doing, especially Megan. You know I have a great interest in what you write and you have been so helpful and supportive to me when I most desperately needed it.
Can you not have a seperate section – password protected and give the password to those you know? I just know you may not get the time to respond to individual emails and it would not be fair to expect you to and it would be such a pity to lose touch. Just an idea…………..
Lots of love
Nicola
xxx
yeah, password protected. That way your far flung relatives can keep up, you’ll have a chronicle, and if you want you can still share it with safe people.
Shame on the beasts who have attacked your precious child and you and your other family members.
When I started blogging, I made a conscious decision that I would not use my son’s name. Among the many reasons I had for that decision was my desire to avoid the kind of response you unfortunately were subjected to. It was an easy decision for me to make because I knew I would be painting with a pretty broad brush. I nevertheless understood the opposite decision made by you, Ginger Taylor, Kristina Chew, and Eileen of My2sons. Talking about your children in the context of your particular posts made sense. I am deeply saddened by the necessity of your decision, but I take heart in the knowledge that you will still be around to politely argue with me.
I’m saddened to read this, Kev, although to be honest I thought it may be coming – people have behaved absolutely despicably towards you and Megan and there’s no reason at all that you should tolerate it or equip them with the means to continue to attack you.
I’d like to add my voice to the pleas for some kind of controlled-access way of knowing how Megan is doing – if nothing else, perhaps a Leitch Family Bulletin mailing list to which we could sign up? 🙂
As Elizabeth said, thankyou so much for ‘sharing’ Megan with us. I feel privileged to have been allowed this peek into such a wonderful young lady’s early years.
Thank you for the stories… and I hope for the best for Megan and the rest of your family. I do understand why you are doing this… Good luck.
A pox on the vile, thoughtless, hurtful people who have pushed you to have to close off this aspect of your life.
That’s all I can say without erupting into considerably more colorful language.
Perhaps you should set up a private (as in “password only”) blog regarding Megan’s development, and give the password to only trusted friends and family who are interested in Megan’s development? It’s a thought, anyway.
I can only echo what everyone else has said, Kev. As a fellow web developer with little practical knowledge or experience of autism beyond what I had read or seen on TV, your blog has been an incredible source of information and education, and also led me to other blogs and sites that I would otherwise never have found.
I was very sad to read both this entry and the previous one concerning the school – I sincerely hope that things get better on both fronts, and I wish Megan all the luck in the world (although with such great parents I’m sure she doesn’t need it).
It’s very sad that people feel the need to stoop so low.
I’m with all the other suggestions for a passworded bit of the site – it seems a shame to deny rellies the chance to be nosey!
Hi Kev, echoing everyone else really. Wishing you all the best of luck.
Incidently my partner was finding your posts very informative as she teaches a child with Autism, so, my vote for a private area you can share your experiences.
Hi Kev
Bonni said everything i would have said, and very well too – a pox on the vile idiots.
yeah, looks like you have to go private and that’s a shame, because who knows how many people will miss this incredible opportunity for getting understanding in a way that must be pretty unique. It’s honest, it’s hopeful, it’s depressing and it’s uplifting because it’s authentic.
You have done a very important thing for many, many people out there, but you are right to want to protect your daughter. All good things come to an end, I guess! Be well, and good luck to Megan.
I am truly sorry to hear that. I understand it tho. It is in my estimation tho I could be wrong NT parents who are the people you are talking about. The vocal NT parents are sometimes wildy hysterical and overly defensive. They feel they are above reproach. If you try constructive criticism they feign hurt and act nobody hurts like they do. It is maddening. There must be a mad parent syndrome that is genetically related to AS.
So i am not anti NT. But I sound very harsh at times not without reason.
I am sorry to hear it as well. I truly wish all the best to you and your family. Maybe one day megan will fill us in one day in her own blog 😉
It’s so sad that this has to be necessary. I’ve no connection with autism, but reading your blog and others has helped me understand it.
Just a week ago, an acquanintence revealed that her grandson was being tested for autism and she was scared about it – she knew nothing about the condition and so-called friends were forwarding to her all the stupid quack “cure the terrible disease of autism with X” stuff from the US. I was able to point her at this blog to enlighten her and show her that an autism diagnosis isn’t the end of the world.
Thanks for all the supportive comments – and emails – that I’ve had since posting this. I really do regret the necessity and I think Graham’s spot on. It does grate on me to think that I’ve been forced into this decision but as Susan says – I have to put Meg first.
I’ll think for awhile about the password-protected area. Its a good idea but I need to get my energy levels back up.
Kev, it is a travesty that people have sent such emails to you and esp. regarding Megan. I think the real power of telling the autism story lies in the specific, individuals details of our kids’ and all austistic persons’ life. These are untold stories, indeed. I chose consciously for “full disclosure” about Charlie–including the very title of my blog–because there’s been a certain amount of pseudonymic grandstanding (as Catherine Maurice in LMHYV). Hug Megan for all of us. Warm regards,
Kristina